Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Borowitz Report -- Schwarzenegger: ‘I Am the Sperminator’

May 17, 2011 Former California Governor in Emotional Confession LOS ANGELES (The Borowitz Report) – Amid rumors that he fathered a child with a member of his household staff ten years ago, former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger made an emotional confession at a hastily called press conference today.

“I am the Sperminator,” Mr. Schwarzenegger told the room of stunned reporters.

The former governor and film star said that he knew the child in question was his “after no one could understand a damn thing it was saying.”

He said that when he first learned he had fathered the child, he considered a variety of options to remedy the situation, including traveling back in time ten years and using a condom.

According to Mr. Schwarzenegger, today’s shocking revelation could end his political career, but he added, “On the plus side, I am now qualified to run the IMF.”


No comments:

Coldstream Ratepayers News! All Coldstream residents are ratepayers!

The opinions expressed by "Coldstreamer" are strictly his own and do not represent the opinions of Coldstream Council!

Because I value your thoughtful opinions, I encourage you to add a comment to this discussion. Don't be offended if I edit your comments for clarity or to keep out questionable matters, however, and I may even delete off-topic comments.

Gyula Kiss


We must protect our rights and freedom! (Photo courtesy of D. Gibson) Click on eagle to watch EAGLECAMS

About Me

My photo
I have been a resident of Coldstream since 1976. I have had 15 years of experience on Council, 3 years as Mayor. As a current Councillor I am working to achieve fair water and sewer rates and to ensure that taxpayers get fair treatment. The current direction regarding water supply is unsustainable and I am doing all I can to get the most cost effective water supply possible.